Ready Or Not!

    Well, we made it to February.  It seemed so far away last July.  I thought my waist was big then and I thought that this month would never get here.  What did I know?  Sometime last month Jeremy told me that the pregnancy has gone by fast.  I couldn't help but roll my eyes.  Eight months of anything is a long time.  It had not flown by for me and we still had a month to go.  One more month of rolling out of bed, covering this growing belly, using heating pads for a sore back, and smiling politely but secretly wanting to kick the  fools saying "Oh you must be due any day now."   Then February came along and I realized that the Big Day is almost here.  So I guess looking back it did go by quickly.  Hard to believe that he will be here so very soon.
  We are working hard to prepare for baby.  Jeremy has installed the car seat bases in both cars, set up the Pack'N'Play, tested the monitors, and made sure we both know how to use a Diaper Genie.  He has the hospital route mapped out and I can see the wheels turning in his head when he talks about getting us to the hospital.  He is a man with plan, that's for sure.  I have the bags packed and ready to go.  I have washed and put away clothes, blankets, hats, socks, and toys, created a changing station that I think will be functional (I fully expect to change it around completely once he gets here because let's face it do I really know what I'm doing?), spent lots of time making his little room a comfortable and peaceful place.  I love it in there.  I especially love the comfy glider.  Jeremy finds me in there often just reading a book.  Speaking of books we have been reading like college kids cramming for a final.  I have The Breastfeeding Book and What To Expect on my night stand while Jeremy has Baby 411 and The Happiest Baby on the Block on his side.  We spent some time the other night watching how to soothe and swaddle a baby on YouTube.
   Wednesday nights have been dedicated to Lamaze classes.  This is not your mama's Lamaze.  We haven't learned much about breathing.  We have learned a lot about interventions for labor and different comfort techniques.  We haven't had to watch any scary bad 80's birthing videos which is great.  Why see something you are going to live?  The tour of the hospital was interesting.  We were just walking around going "Oh my goodness!  This is so real!  Can we do this? We have to do this.  I wanna go home!"  We go for our final class tonight where we will learn about breastfeeding.
  With all this baby prep we should be totally prepared, right?  Hardly!  We have realized you can prepare and read and ask 101 people for advice, but I don't think we will ever feel prepared.  I mean our parents didn't have YouTube, Diaper Genies, all these books, the Internet so how did they do it?  Instinct.  Everyone says it just comes and I trust that it will.  We will make some mistakes along the way, but as long as we are in this together we will make it.

As Seen on TV...YEAH RIGHT!

   This morning I was watching an episode of Friends.  It was the one where Rachel is having her baby.  I have seen it plenty of times on TBS reruns, but today I watched with a more invested interest.  I found myself talking to the TV stating how wrong some of the scenes were and  relating to this character throughout the show.  The main thing I learned (and really already knew) pregnancy ain't nothing like it is on TV!
   The one thing I could definately relate to was the idea of her being impatient and uncomfortable.  They were pretty accurate on that one.  Another thing that was dead on was the crankiness of a pregnant lady.  Best line of the show came after Ross asked,  "Why are you being so nice to to the doctor and so nasty to me?"  Rachel's response?  "Because she is the one with the drugs!"  Sing it sister.
    When her water broke there was no gush, no trace of the mess I have been warned about.  The couch was not even damp.  Jeremy has planned accordingly for this labor sign by putting down a rubber sheet on the couch.  I feel like a puppy on a pee pad as I type.
  When they arrived at the hospital Rachel threatened to leave and go to another hospital if she didn't get a private room.  No laboring woman in her right mind would leave a hospital.  Those lovely, hardworking people know how to get the baby out.  I am considering packing a box of chocolates and Starbucks gift certificates to give out to the staff as soon as I arrive.  I might send even send them flowers when we are en route to the hospital. They need to know that I am lovely person.  They need to know my face.  I need them to think, "Oh, there is the nice girl who brought us those great gifts.  She looks like she is in pain.  Let's drop what we are doing and go help her.  We can eat lunch or help those other patients later."    This mama is not going in there to make enemies.  I need those people to be my best friends!
  Back to the show.  After Rachel's water broke they spent 47 hours in labor.  FALSE!! IMPOSSIBLE!! UNSAFE!!  I have learned that after the water breakage you are on the clock.  There are only 12 hours to get that baby out safely.  I know that they were trying to build drama, but that, my friends, is a misconception. After a quick 47 hours of labor (funny, it only felt like 23 minutes to me) she was in the delivery room.  Three pushes-- here's baby.  Simple enough.  Yeah right.
   The most relateable and emotional part is when Rachel and Ross held their baby for the first time.  It was a soft tender moment that brought tears to my eyes.  Then out of nowhere I began sobbing.  Hysterically sobbing.  Ugly crying.  Why?  Because Rachel had her baby and I wanted to have my baby.  It struck me as incredibly unfair.  I told this to Jeremy.  He gave me a huge hug.  After a few minutes he asked if I realized I was crying over a TV pregnancy.  Moments like that just have to make you laugh.  So then I was crying and laughing at the same time.  Not a good look, I promise.  It was time to turn off the TV at this point before things got worse and/or uglier.  I was jealous of a fictional character with a fictional baby.  Hello crazy lady!
  Needless to say TV and movies have it all wrong.  So if you need a dose of pregnancy reality come see me.  I'll set you straight.  As seen on TV...yeah right!

Oh the Games We Play

The other day I was sitting at my desk creating some scrabble-like letter tiles for the following week.  The kids will use the tiles to build spelling words and figure out the value of each word.  I got to thinking about how I can tell my 1st graders that anything is a game and they go nuts for whatever activity I just deemed a "game."  And why shouldn't they?  Games are fun.  They make people happy.  An entire night's fun level can be kicked up a notch by announcing it's game night.  Games can make time go by quickly because time flies when you are having fun, right?  Well, that got me thinking even more.  I am ready for this kid to be here.  At 36 weeks and 5 days I still have a ways to go so I need something to make the time go by quickly.  I give Preggo Girl Games...

Project (Oh Dear Heavens Do Not Break The) Runway

Number of players: 1

Object:  Get dressed and out the door on time

Some days getting dressed is just hard, but this handy point system might make things a bit more interesting:

Clean and unwrinkled = 2 points

Comfortable (and by comfortable I mean stretchy and awesome) = 5 points

Shoes that are cute, fit (oh the swelling!), and do not highlight the cankles = 6 points

Matches = 7 points (this one can be tough if only 1 out of your two pairs of pants are in the washer)

Accessorized correctly and proportionally = 8 points (does this moo moo make me look fat?)

Cute and makes you feel awesome = 12 points

52 Pick Up

Number of Players: 17 overly eager and helpful 1st graders

Object: Don't bend over.  Seriously, like I can anyway.

I am ashamed to admit this, but I play this game 5 days a week from 7:30-2:30.  My students are really good at helping me win this game.  They are excellent at crawling on the floor to pick up a dropped paper clip or marker.  The challenge is making sure that they retrieve the dropped item quickly and not get distracted by crawling under desks to get out of doing work.

1 Teacher Pick Up

Number of Players:  17 1st graders who have not quite grasped the concept of weight

Object: Get up from the floor without falling down.

At school this one is pretty easy.  The kids like to fight who will help me get up.  No need to fight children.  I probably need all 17 of you and the class across the hall to get up.   Unless I have just explained a "game" and then all bets are off. 

Are You Smarter Than A Pregnant Lady?

Number of Players:  As many players that are willing to play

Object:  Of course you are smarter than a pregnant lady, but the object here is to make me feel that I am not crazy.  Yes, I will need things repeated because I probably was daydreaming about baby or nightmaring about labor.  Yes, I will confuse dates and forget things.  But can you help me not feel like a moron who has lost her mind?  Bonus points if you get to me before I start crying.  This game is play at your own risk!!

Jeopardy

Number of Players: Limitless

Object:  Don't upset the pregnant lady 

Come to think of it, this is not a very good game.